Look!  Up there under the Beer menu.  See that new line?  It says RSF Merchandise.  Click on it and be miraculously transported to my little place on Zazzle.com.

Hey, the country needs an economic makeover, so do your part by getting yourself a brand new Randy Stoat t-shirt.  President Obama will thank you.  Your friends will appreciate the new sense of style you have at your command as they wait in line behind you at the gas station while you pay for your week's worth of lotto tickets, Red Bull and Jagermeister.  Most of all, I'll thank you for my half-cent cut of Zazzle's profits.  While you're there, go ahead and treat yourself to a frosted mug so you can pound down those RB&J cocktails in style.

You are a winner, my friend, and the whole world should be able to tell at a glance.  With clothes and other merchandise from Randy Stoat Femtobrewery, there are no more excuses.

I racked my latest brew from the primary fermenter to the secondary fermenter, yesterday.  The final gravity is 1.015, giving it about 5.3% alcohol by volume.  It tastes pretty gosh-darn good and I’m glad I added that little bit of acidulated malt to the recipe.  I’ll let it sit for at least another week to clear out and then keg it.

Here’s the recipe:

RSF Dry Stout (April 2009 KGB Meeting KOM)

Stout might not be the first beer that pops into your mind when crawfish is on the menu, but that’s what the Keg of the Month (KOM) will be when the KGB has its crawfish boil this coming April.

The only homebrew I have on tap right now is a Samichlaus clone that my buddy, Donald Sajda, and I made in 2007.  We kegged it in mid-November and it’s getting rather infrequent pulls because the stuff is cloyingly sweet.  That was the second time we brewed Samichlaus as a team and we brewed it again on the 6th of this month.  I think this year’s batch will be the last time I brew this beer.  Each year the brew is bigger than the last (for our latest, the OG came in at an obese 1.200), and each year the resulting beer has more residual sugars than the one before.  I think the batch we brewed the other day will be pretty much undrinkable.  Add the distinctive flavor imparted by the yeast and five gallons is just too much of a good thing.  Luckily, I have an aunt and uncle who seem to have no limit to their sweet tooth capacity, so they will be put, happily and unwittingly, to some good use.

The point of that digression is to show that I need something not-so-sweet in the refrigerator.  When I saw stout on the list of beers needed for a future KOM, I jumped on it.  I love the stuff.

I tried brewing this beer on the 29th, but the sparge wasn’t just stuck, it was impacted.  Rather than try to salvage a lost cause by lautering through a colander and ending up with a very oxygenated wort (which would lead to papery, cardboard flavors and aromas – I speak from experience, folks), I dumped the mash and ran back to the store to restock on grain so I could try it again the next day.  This time, though, I added rice hulls to the mash and the sparge went like a Swiss clockwork.

For all the hard work (not to mention the mileage of two trips to and fro the homebrew supply store), the beer gods smiled on me with exceptional brewhouse efficiency.  I planned on fermenting 11 gallons of 1.047 wort, but I ended up with 11.5 gallons at 1.056.  According to BeerSmith, that’s a whopping 92.6% efficiency rate, and I’m right proud.

Now if I can get some more luck, the brew gods will get the weather gods to warm us up a bit so the yeast can do their work in a nice 64° environment.  If not, the fermentation will struggle along in chilly lethargy.

Speaking of beer, tomorrow's the day of big beer gluttony.  The Smörgåsbeerd is the KGB's way of blowing through some excess rubles by buying copious amounts of beers, the theme of which is bigness.  They don't have to come in big bottles, but we do have a three-liter bottle of Corsendonk to fit that description.  Big can also mean high in alcohol or body, and we'll have plenty of those to drink, you can bet your bottom dollar on that, comrade.  It can also mean bitter -- very bitter.  There is sure to be some highly hopped beers to try, but don't blow out your taste buds too soon.  There's also bratwursts and kielbasas cooked in beer.  There's red cabbage and sauerkraut, German potato salad, soft pretzels and homemade cookies.

Oh, yeah!  Click here for the time and place.

On the 6th of December, in 1979 (Saint Nicholas day) Hürlimann Brewery brewed the first batch of Samichlaus Bier in Zürich, Switzerland.  The beer was allowed to ferment and condition for a full year before it was offered for sale.  At the time, it might have been the strongest commercial beer available, weighing in at 14% alcohol by volume.  The resulting dark lager beer was extremely rich and malty with lots of chocolate aroma and sweetness from the alcohol.  It was best savored very slowly and as it warmed up to room temperature, its complexity only increased.

Alas, the Hürlimann Brewery closed in 1997 and Samichlaus Bier was no more.  Until, that is, the Austrian Schloss Eggenberg brewery took up the gauntlet a few years later.  The new beer is, in my opinion, not nearly as complex as the old one, but it is still a formidable, tasty beer that is prized by lovers of great beer.

In 2005, the drought brought on by Hürlimann's closing and the difficulty and high cost of getting the new incarnation, which wasn't available in the Houston area, inspired a few homebrewers to renew the tradition of brewing a Samichlaus Bier every December 6.  This year we hold our 4th annual Samichlaus Brew In at the home of its founder, Donald Sajda.  Always an advocate for bigger and stronger beers, his was the perfect location to hold such an epic event.

Donald and I will brew two batches of beer this Samichlaus Day.  Of course, we will brew 10 gallons of our Samichlaus clone and another 10 gallons of a wee heavy scotch ale.  Life is good!

I hope several others will show up with their kits and brew along with us.  I believe we've had as many as five batches going on in his driveway at once.  But we won't be just brewing!  Several year's worth of our homebrewed Samichlaus vintages will be available for tasting, along with a few of the commercial variety.  Plus, it's a pot luck dinner, so there will be plenty of foundation material to hold up all of these heavy brews.

Even if you don't brew beer, you're still welcome.  If you'd like to see how beer is brewed from scratch, come on by, but remember to bring some food for the pot luck dinner!  Check out the KGB web site for the time and location.